John Green's dog is really effing cute

I'm really jealous of John Green's AMAZINGLY ADORABLE new puppy, Willy, although I am prevented from kidnapping because A.) Willy lives with John Green and his wife the Yeti in Indianapolis, B.) as John explains, Willy smells a little bit like his own pee, C.) I cannot have a dog in my apartment (I have to keep reminding myself of this, as it is hard to resist all the adorable dogs running around Manhattan), and D.) I remember what a chore it was to raise Val, so no puppies for me. Also, I'm pretty sure that puppynapping is at the very least frowned upon by the police and the populace in general. If you know of a legal loophole to that, let me know.