It's called a breakup, because its broken

In the light of the San Diego wildfires, my post seems very trivial. The fires are all over the news down here; I'm glued to signonsandiego.com for updates. Please friends, be safe.

I feel like my life is on fire too, at least since Friday. Ian and I broke up. I have no idea if he'd been thinking about it, though he assured me it was just something that happened during our normal conversation (whatever). The long distance is too much I guess. He wants to go to school in 3 years and point blank said "I don't want a girlfriend when I am in school." IN 3 YEARS. He saw us breaking up eventually, in 3 years, so pretty much gave me the choice of when to end it. I said all the normal things a girl in love with a boy would say, but he had made up his mind. What's really confusing is he was adamant the whole time - "I love you."

I've cried a lot (my boss pulled me aside today and told me I could go home it if wanted). I still have so many questions, though I'm realizing they just won't be answered. Mostly just hurt by the man I loved, and who I thought loved me - wondering what changed and how to live a life not talking to him everyday. Other than that, it stings that he is reaching out to his ex again (NEVER LOOK AT MYSPACE AFTER A BREAK UP). So here I am again.

Anyway, I just wanted you all to know. I've made some good friends here in Texas, but nothing like you! I miss you guys, especially at times like these when all I want to do is be with friendly faces. If you get a change, I could use a good word.

Hope all is well.