New fake boyfriend alert!

Guys. I have a new fake boyfriend. His name is...hold on, let me check how old he is...okay, nineteen, not illegal. Anyway! His name is Michael Cera. You might know him from his work on Arrested Development, on which he played the hilariously awkward George Michael Bluth.



Needless to say, Cambria's roommate, Jessica, and her boyfriend, Shaun, are either fake creeped out or really creeped out by Cambria's insistence that I like the young ones. And while it's true I'm not hot for the ridiculously old frauds like Rob Lowe, I would not actually date somebody younger than me, if only because they'd be really immature. I mean, men mature at vastly a different (and slower) rate than girls, so dating a nineteen-year-old boy (there's really no other word for them) would be like dating an, um, fourteen-year-old boy? I don't know. I can't do math well.

Anyways, in lieu of that, I'm going to pimp wicked MC's blog and Internet video series, Clark and Michael, which he cowrites, produces, directs, what have you, with his BFF Clark Duke, who virtually no one but Kim will recognize from the ABC Family original series "Greek." It's funny to me, at least! So watch it or don't watch it or whatever, but now you know it's there!



P.S. I've moved to New York and found an apartment. Details to come.

I have so little else to look forward to, it seems

Let me tell you about a movie that I'm really stoked to see come January (hopefully I can see it with Cambria, as I will have been in New York for months already--right????). It's called Fanboys, and it's an indie that got so much respect after it was finished that the director received additional funding to go shoot more scenes that they had to cut because of monies, etc. So that's good news. It's about a group of teenage boys (and, apparently, one girl) who travel to Skywalker Ranch to see Phantom Menace, that boring-as-hell first Star Wars prequel before it is released upon the request of their best friend who died* or something. If you check out the IMDb listing, you'll know why I'm really pumped to see it--not only is my new new fake boyfriend Chris Marquette** in it, but so is Kristen Bell (of Veronica Mars fame) and this kid Sam Huntington, who I didn't know by name but definitely by face. He was in two episodes of Veronica Mars during the first season, and they happen to be two of the best episodes in that season, and despite the fact that his character doesn't get tons of screen time and also is a drug dealer, he made him seem likeable and real. I was just watching those episodes the other day and thinking, "Why haven't I seen this kid in more things? He's great!"*** So now we know. Fanboys. January 2008. Who's with me?

*Actually, Linus is their former friend who is in the process of dying and who they have just reconnected with. They're going to Skywalker Ranch so that he can see the movie before he starts pushing up daisies. Chris Marquette is playing the not-long-for-this-world Linus, so y'all know there are going to be lots of tears coming from his corner, which is awesome because he is SO good at that (see: almost ever single episode of Joan of Arcadia). Sadly, he will probably not be the character to hook up with Kristen Bell's Zoe--I'm always so much more interested in characters when there's a 'ship I can board. It's a sickness, I know.

**Considering how long it took me to move from Shia LaBoeuf to Chris Marquette, God knows I'll probably have a new new new fake boyfriend by January, but who said exes can't stay friends? I know I didn't.

***I'm sure Scott was poised to correct me on this--apparently, Sam Huntington was that kid in Jungle 2 Jungle which, thanks IMDb, I was trying to forget that movie existed. More recently, he played Jimmy Olsen in that crapfest Superman Returns.

The Girl Next Door

And we're back to me being the only person who writes up in this piece.

So, in honor of my new new fake boyfriend Chris Marquette (who Kim and I decided I could never date in real life because he's too short, but in fake life he's a bit taller than I am), I Netflixed The Girl Next Door, expecting it to be one of those American Pie-esque jobbies, like Eurotrip or Van Wilder, that is funny in a crude, puerile way but that I sort of never want to see again or even admit that I actually saw. But it was not, friends! I mean, it was sort of crude and puerile at times (the most excellent moments of this came from my new new fake boyfriend, of all people), but it was also very sweet and smart and funny and interesting. Its soundtrack is a little predictable, sadly, but I completely enjoyed it and just added it to my Amazon wishlist, proof positive that I adore it if I want to own it.

The Girl Next Door, in brief, is about Matt Kidman, who is the unpopular class president who dreams of being the President of the United States one day. He's about one sixty-fourth of the way there--he's been admitted to Georgetown, but his 'rents can't come up with the cash for four years, so he needs a scholarship badly. Things start to go all pear-shaped for Matt when he falls for Danielle (Elisha Cuthbert), who Matt later finds out (from his horn-dog friend, Eli, played by my new new fake boyfriend) is an ex-porn star. When Matt insults Danielle by treating her like, well, a porn star, she jets off with her producer friend, Kelly, played to perfection by Timothy Olyphant to return to the biz. Matt pursues, blah blah blah, etc. The best thing about the movie is that it's NOT, as the title would suggest, about the girl next door--it's about Matt, and the fact that he's finally being released from fear and learns to live his life. Awesome. I love movies about that stuff.

So Netflix it, or wait until I buy it on DVD and then watch it with me, because it's great.

No news is bad news, but hey, that's what my life's become

So literally not a scrap of news on the job front, except that I applied for another one today. It's not an editorial position at a big house--it's a book scouting position for the company that scouts books for Harpo (that's Oprah's company, for those not in the know) and for foreign publishers, which I think I'd really like. I'm actually dying to get this job, and the company's probably pretty small, so at least there won't be a long drawn-out HR process, but it probably doesn't pay very well, so who knows? Even if I get the job I might not be able to take it, if I can't live on what they offer me. Anyway, let's hope they at least give me an interview--it'd be interesting to see how that side of the business is run. I mean, I have some experience in subrights just from my internship now, but it'd be interesting to hear about it from someone who only does that. Plus, it'd be nice to have a reason to go to New York.

In other news, I saw Alpha Dog last night, and let me tell you, that's a fine film. It's a really sad story, based on the true story (and not just "based on", although that's how they have to say it to keep from being sued, but really it's basically an exact transcription with names changed) of Jesse James Hollywood and the murder of Nick Markowitz. The movie stars Emile Hirsch (who, whatever), Justin Timberlake, and my new new fake boyfriend, Christopher Marquette (whose hair is HORRIBLE in this movie--total Snape hair). Justin Timberlake is so good in this film, which sort of blew me away, because I was like, "Yeah, right, Justin Timberlake can't act," but whoa, he so can. Another interesting thing about this movie is that Ben Foster is in it, playing the messed-up drug addict brother of the victim. Okay, the last thing I saw Foster in was freaking Get Over It, that high school romcom with Kirsten Dunst like a hundred years ago. And I was like, "Seriously? Same guy?" He's scary in this movie.

If you're looking for some good rap/hip hop music to put on your iPod, may I suggest "Night and Day" by T9ne (it plays over the credits and is really catchy) and "Say Goodbye Hollywood" by Eminem (off the Eminem Show album). Speaking of music, I'm annoyed that I cannot get the new Matchbox Twenty single, "How Far We've Come", legally on iTunes or illegally on Limewire. If anyone knows how I can get my hands on it, let me know, will ya? It's my new music obsession.

That's my life! Don't be jealous.