The Procrastination Station

That is what my desk has become. I told myself I was going to finish editing Murder Burger, my second book, by tonight. I really want to send it off to my agent so that she can read it (or at least some of it) before I see her on Friday (unlike most agents, who live in New York, Joanna lives in Chicago), when we're having lunch with my editor and drinks after work. It'll be easier to talk about it if she's seen it, and anyway I'd like her feedback so I can address any major issues before sending it to my editor to look at at the end of October.

Seriously, I really planned to edit it this weekend. But as of now, I'm 140 pages in to a 288 page manuscript, and so far I haven't made any big changes. I don't know if this is because the book is so much better than All Unquiet Things, or if it's just because AUT was so complicated (two narrators, two chronologies, mystery elements, etc. etc.) and by comparison MB is so simple (one narrator, no flashbacks, etc.), or if it's because I didn't actually do a detailed synopsis of AUT before I wrote it and spent a lot of time smoothing over inaccuracies or changing plot points but I DID do a detailed synopsis for MB. MB just seems...better somehow? But I don't know, I could be totally, totally off.

Anyway, yesterday I did everything but edit. I watched three episodes of Dexter and an episode and a half of Pushing Daisies (Netflixed, natch). I fucked around on the Internet. I read some of The Secret History by Donna Tartt. I did a load of laundry. I downloaded music (the Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist soundtrack, which is amazingly awesome especially the new Vampire Weekend song "Ottoman", and a couple of songs by Lady Ga Ga, who everybody should check out). EVERYTHING BUT WRITE. Then I went out to watch the USC game with Cambria, Nikki, Jenny and Eric at a bar and got wasted and didn't get home until 2. Because I'm a class act.

Today I did do a little bit of writing, but I also finished up the disc of Pushing Daisies I have and read some more and downloaded some more music (actually, I just imported the Titanic soundtrack and Jenny Lewis' first solo album, Rabbit Fur Coat, from CDs my coworkers had made me) and fucked around some more on the Internet. Then I went to NEW JERSEY FOR GOD'S SAKE to have Chili's with Jenny and a sadly hungover Cambria, who was more wasted than I was last night and didn't get home until 4:30 AM. What crazy New York lives we lead! Ahem, not really, we are losers.

So now I'm thinking I might not finish editing by tonight, which is really too bad. I poorly prioritized this weekend. But at least USC beat Oregon! Which should've been a foregone conclusion, really, but you know what happened last week with Oregon State, so...Also, I saw Chris March, the big lovable guy from Season 4 of Project Runway (the same season as Christian "Fierce" Siriano), again last night! He just walked right past us while we were standing outside Galway Hooker, the USC bar on 36th Street. I wonder if he lives nearby. I saw him a week ago at Cognac on 55th and Broadway when I was having lunch with my editor--he was eating with a friend right behind her! I think he's stalking me.

Sigh. Here's hoping I get my revisions done by tonight. Also, I just ate my Chili's leftovers, which I really should've saved for later in the evening. Oh well. Welcome back, thirteen pounds I lost over the summer--I have not missed you, and you are not welcome here.

I miss YOU GUYS though. So excited for Thanksgiving. Holla!

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Dunder Mifflin Infinity. Schaumberg, IL branch.

AlternaTV

Okay, so we all know the Writer's Guild of America is striking (for a view from the front lines, go here), which means that after the networks air all the episodes of their shows that are either already in the can, currently being produced, or have scripts finished, that's it. Dunzo. End of TV season. The ish is over DVD and online residuals (as of now, TV writers get $0.04 per DVD sale--they want it bumped to $0.08--and nothing from online streaming, which networks collect advertising dollars for; not fair, basically), plus pensions and other crap I don't understand, and the experts are declaring it a short TV season. For more details on when your faves go dark, check out Mike Ausiello's post on TVGuide.com.

Meanwhile, perhaps you should look into alternatives, like Clark and Michael, which I pimped last week, or my new discovery, quarterlife, which is online-only, streaming on MySpace. And, coincidentally, it also stars an actor from ABC Family's "Greek"! This time, Rob Thomas lookalike Cappie! Who, let's face it, is hot. quarterlife refers to a video blog kept by one Dylan Krieger, an editorial associate (or associate editor--they're really not very clear on this) at a Seventeen-like mag in (I guess) LA. Kind of like Lonelygirl15 (actually, the girl who plays Dylan was on "Lonelygirl15") but...older? I think these people are supposed to be our age. I think it's pretty entertaining, but that's because I'm an easy sell. Laters!

New fake boyfriend alert!

Guys. I have a new fake boyfriend. His name is...hold on, let me check how old he is...okay, nineteen, not illegal. Anyway! His name is Michael Cera. You might know him from his work on Arrested Development, on which he played the hilariously awkward George Michael Bluth.



Needless to say, Cambria's roommate, Jessica, and her boyfriend, Shaun, are either fake creeped out or really creeped out by Cambria's insistence that I like the young ones. And while it's true I'm not hot for the ridiculously old frauds like Rob Lowe, I would not actually date somebody younger than me, if only because they'd be really immature. I mean, men mature at vastly a different (and slower) rate than girls, so dating a nineteen-year-old boy (there's really no other word for them) would be like dating an, um, fourteen-year-old boy? I don't know. I can't do math well.

Anyways, in lieu of that, I'm going to pimp wicked MC's blog and Internet video series, Clark and Michael, which he cowrites, produces, directs, what have you, with his BFF Clark Duke, who virtually no one but Kim will recognize from the ABC Family original series "Greek." It's funny to me, at least! So watch it or don't watch it or whatever, but now you know it's there!



P.S. I've moved to New York and found an apartment. Details to come.

New! American! Gladiators!

Cambria: Set your DVR.

Everyone else: Don't even dare to think you'll ever hear from her again. Because the American Gladiators? Are coming back.

It's vintage!

Tell me that Natalie Portman (as Anne Boleyn in the upcoming film The Other Boleyn Girl) and America Fererra (as Betty Suarez from Ugly Betty) aren't wearing the same fugly necklace:





The people at Mode would be so proud. It's not every day that somebody's able to bring back a fashion trend from the sixteenth century!